Disclaimer
I am not a Muslim, and none of my family members or close friends are Muslims.
Motivation
As Hermann Hesse wrote in Siddhartha: "(Siddhartha) had been able to do three noble and undefeatable feats: fasting, waiting, thinking."
The idea of suppressing physical feeling always fascinates me since I was a kid. As I grew up, I always believed that feeling and reasoning add up to a certain amount and that the more feeling you feel, the less reasoning you'll have, and vice versa.
To be honest, I don't even know if this is true, but I have been thinking like this for as long as I can remember.
So Ramadan seems like a good time to practice my theory -- no food and no drink from sunrise to sunset for one month. According to my local Masjid's time table, the first day's fasting starts at 4:57 am and ends at 8:16 pm, and as the day grows longer, the last day's fasting starts at 4:09 am and ends at 8:49 pm.
However, you might recognize that the reason above doesn't answer why I didn't observe Ramadan before. If I always wanted to give it a try, why did I wait until this year?
The answer is that Ramadan 2020 is special. With the pandemic going on, we all work and study at home. I was too afraid of fasting in front of people, as they would notice for sure. What should I say if someone asks me why do I fast?
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting." (Matthew 6:16) (I should also add that I'm not a Christian and none of my family members are.)
That's why I finally took action at this year's Ramadan during the lockdown. All my fasting and thinking are solely for myself. I didn't do this for anyone else. It's just between me and my Gods.
Experience
Ramadan 2020 began on the evening of April 23 and ended on the evening of May 23.
Sleep
Before Ramadan, I thought the hardest part should be being hungry all the time. However, at least for me, the hardest part was sleeping.
As described above, I ate Suhoor before sunrise and broke my fast at Iftar after sunset.
This means I have to adjust my sleep schedule. During Ramadan, I went to bed at 10 pm and got up at 4 am. Later on when the sun set later and rose earlier, I slept from 10:30 pm to 3:30 pm, and took a nap every day before I started working. I slept for only 2 hours at the first night thanks to my terrible sleep schedule before Ramadan. I used to sleep from 4 am to 11 am :)
Eat
Suhoor Ideas:
I need something that contains enough energy, fiber, protein, and water that can last to Iftar.
TL;DR: none of them was successful. Feel free to skip this part.
Baked eggs:
Pretty much followed this recipe
I don't have a muffin cup, so I used a glass container instead.
It took way more than 10 minutes as suggested in the recipe since a whole container of eggs is hard to cook thoroughly.
Rating: 4/10
Comments: Won't try again. I made some for the first week and they tasted awful. I was so happy when I finished all that I made.
Mason jar breakfasts:
I tried (layers from bottom to top) quick oat + avocado + yogurt + pumpkin seeds + banana.
As for the quick oat, I put them at the bottom and add a little water/milk to it. I did so because I want the water from the yogurt and the fruits above to soak it well.
I know it should be stored in the fridge until when you want to eat it, but for me, I just can't eat cold food when I wake up. So I made it every night before going to bed and eat it the next dawn without putting it in the fridge overnight.
Rating: 6/10
Comments: The rest were fine but the avocado made my tongue tingle! It happened every time when I prepared it the night before. Some strange reactions were probably going on. I stopped making this after 10 days or so.
After running out of Suhoor ideas, I went back to my regular breakfast. But I did eat more for breakfast since I wouldn't eat lunch. Turned out to be much better than "Suhoor ideas".
Drink
I drank two cups of water during Suhoor, one cup of water (and two dates) before Iftar, and two cups of water before I went to bed.
My lower legs were swollen and my feet were painful. It deteriorated as Ramadan went on. I'm not sure whether it was related to my binge drinking.
Quran
I finally re-read the Quran from cover to cover again after... 8 years.
And I really need some annotations.
Other
I was very grateful that I didn't need to go to the office for work, and that the weather in Waterloo was colder than usual. In fact, we had a snow on May 11.
The two reasons were crucial for my fasting. Because of them, I didn't move much, and I didn't sweat during the day.
And two events:
I moved on May 1 because my lease ended in April. On that day, I carried down 7 suitcases and storage boxes from my old apartment on the third floor (no elevator), walked to my new apartment because the car I called wasn't able to fit me in after I put all my belongings in, and carried up everything to my new apartment on the second floor (no elevator). After that I took a bus to the grocery store and bought a bunch of food and carried them back. To my surprise, after all that I've done, I was not hungry or thirsty at all.
A couple of days later, I woke up exactly one minute after sunrise, so according to the "rule", I couldn't eat or drink until sunset. Miraculously, I was again not hungry or thirsty until Iftar.
I somehow think that both events happened according to Gods' will. I understand that things I thought impossible can actually be achieved with the help of my Gods.
Thoughts
Ramadan was a good time for building habits. For example, I began to stick to my new sleep schedule. I adopted the habit of exercising and watching videos in German.
In this sense, Ramadan 2020 was successful, as it did suppress my physical feeling and desire, and gave me more time to do the things I wanted to do.
I may try it again next year, but it will depend on the situation.